In November of 2013 I sat my husband down after we put our son down to sleep and I revealed a part of me to him that he had never seen. I told him I wasn’t the person he thought I was. I wasn’t the person many people close to me thought I was. I had been living a sort of separate life- a life full of hidden action, distorted words, and lots and lots of covering up. I bared to him that since the beginning of our relationship I had never been with only him. That I had, had multiple partners, told numerous lies, and I didn’t really know how, or if I wanted to, stop.
Many people who have met me in the past four years have stated that they believe that I am this bubbling, confident, extremely strong, and authentic person. I have had strangers coming up to me to tell me that they have seen me and my posts on social media and that they believe I am a strong feminist leader and role model.
I have new friends who will be sitting and listening to stories from my past with their mouths open wide, not believing I am telling a story about myself. I am always blown away. I know how I got here, but I do not always believe I have arrived.
Through an immense amount of therapy, a thousand lessons learned through mistakes, and a crap load of reading and researching, I have found me. I sat here writing this introduction, and a lot more of my stories, not recognizing the person who I was- who I still could have been without all of the work I have put into becoming who I am now.
I am so grateful for all of the experiences I have been through. I am forever surprised that I have made it here. I am thankful for the large amount of learning and support that I have received from everyone- my ex-husband, my friends, my therapist, my professors, my coworkers, my family, my lovers, and myself. I am so lucky to have a huge amount of support from my community.
I will forever question my path to make sure I am doing things that are true to me. I will continue to push myself to keep learning and helping others through my learning. And, I will always take the time to be honest with myself and those around me. I will be growing and thriving and I look forward to you being a part of that process.